Turns out today was wonderful. It started badly, the pouring rain as we arrived at the farm made me question the decision not to just head for a play centre. Apparently though, farms can be excellent fun in the rain.
You see for starters we were pretty much the only fools there. Animal feeding – all to ourselves, we literally fed the entire farm (though I did learn that feeding goats has a limited attention span, mine obviously). Pets corner – we had barely put the rabbit down before the chick came flying our way, shortly followed by a baby goat. At one point I had to shout the lovely but slightly lax staff member over to remove some of the pets I was acquiring. The real baby was far from thrilled with a goat on her knee and my 3yr old was experimenting with how tightly he could squeeze a chick.
That aside the whole experience was great, I mean let’s be honest I can barely cope with my own kids, I don’t need any more around.
The tractor ride turned into a kind of log flume on wheels – again we rode alone. Our little man was in heaven being whipped by wind and water, admittedly the younger was terrified but one out of two isn’t bad surely. When we got to the trailer I climbed on only to realise it was covered in massive puddles, including the seats.
“Oh, Mummy literally can’t sit down it is so wet” I exclaimed (obviously to the Farmer, my little troop couldn’t care less, one was wearing a full rain suit the other very much bargaining on my knee).
“Seriously my bum is going to be soaked, does Mummy have to sit down?” I tried again.
“Yes” came the single, very firm reply. Knew he was listening.
So I did what any parent stupid enough to be at a farm, and then on a tractor, in the rain would do. I used my rain suit wearing child to clean my seat. I just slid him along it a couple of times back and forth. Main puddles removed, he enjoyed the extra ride. Job done.
We had the cafe to ourselves, which again any parent will know is bliss. Want to run around shouting post a white trash lunch – you go crazy. Tea in a polystyrene cup – if that’s the only option then yes I will take it, thank you.
There was a bouncy castle, suddenly I was thrilled at my previous wetness from the tractor, no fears on the pelvic floor front for me. Had it to ourselves so I could fully embrace trying out flips involving the potential for neck injuries with my little dude without any concerned glances.
Then finally you get a big fat sympathy / guilt vote from the staff. We hadn’t paid for a Santa visit but since he had rocked up anyway and there were no other fu*ckers about we got to go in for free. Well either that or the fact that Santa was clearly the farmer from our previous tractor ride whom I had praised for his reverse parking skills. Yep, I flirted my way to a free grotto visit. I have no shame, Christmas is an expensive time of year.
So overall good. In fact I would go so far as excellent. We all had to remove a good deal of clothing before getting in the car happy, tired and fully entertained. Which I reckon might be sign of a successful trip out. Now how often can you say that about a play centre!